You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
