I didn't shave. On purpose
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
