just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Blood and glitter go together right?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
