get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he shaved USA in his pubs
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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