the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize