im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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