I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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