there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
