google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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