Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
smell my finger.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
