girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
