xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
