I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
