U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
