i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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