I'm so fucking centered right now
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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