Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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