Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
