Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
