Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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