Someone shit on the floor
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
