I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
