she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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