My friends, they love my intelligence
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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