She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yo dont text me then not text me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
