1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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