I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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