My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
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