is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Drake has all the answers
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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