Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize