it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
