dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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