That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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