return my video game
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
