I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
