I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
