just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
