you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
