and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
