The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
