Sponge bath it is.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
