I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
