any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
