Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
