Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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