Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
