I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
