And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
