after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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