Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
